Successful marriages tend to be populated by partners who come to their marriage with close family relationships and whose parents' approved of their marriage. or whether they have similar dating histories appear to be of lessor importance. .. Survival Tips For Long Distance Relationships · Relationships And The. No one can truly know what goes on inside a marriage except the two people how relationships are stressed and what factors can keep the spark alive. even if it's just 15 minutes, and scheduling a weekly date, Kaslow advised. ski -- is the key, said Orbuch, who has been following a group of married. Last year we decided to get married and soon after I've lost both of my Fallopian to find out it was a success on our first try, I was pregnant with twins. Last edited 10/07/ . you known each other, in person, not a long distance relationship? How long have you been dating, living together etc, before getting married?.
This friendship and mutual liking is somewhat separate from other aspects of the relationship sexuality, for instanceand can survive the loss of these other aspects of the relationship. A strong friendship and mutual liking is often the basis for repair of troubled relationships.
The partners reach agreement with regard to how household responsibilities are divided and how they will behave towards each other. Traditionally, and still dominantly, the male or masculine-identified partner will take on the majority of financial obligations, while the female or feminine-identified partner will take on nurturing roles.
Tradition has broken down significantly in the industrialized west over the last century, however, and it is not at all uncommon to find 'women' who take on financial obligations, 'men' who take on nurturing roles, or to find both partners sharing these roles to one degree or another. Failure to reach agreement with regard to roles can be a major source of conflict.
Successful partners learn to trust each other, to be vulnerable with each other, to laugh together, and to support one another in times of need. Partners come to basic agreements as to how they will be sexual with each other.
Frequently traditionally this means that they will be sexual with one another, and not with other people, but this is not necessarily the case. Sexual expectations may further dictate the kinds and patterns of sexual activities that each partner will and will not engage in. Coming to agreement with regard to sexuality can increase trust that couples feel for each other, and failure to reach agreement can be cause for conflict.
As sexual activity is strongly rewarding and bonding for couples, it is best for marriages when partners agree upon sexual expectations and are both satisfied with their lovemaking. Successful partners agree that they want to pursue the same life paths, values and goals and mutually commit to those paths, values and goals. Examples might include decisions to have children or not, to attend or not attend religious services, to raise a child in a particular faith, to save or spend money, or to live frugally or extravagantly, etc.
Successful marriages tend to be populated by partners who come to their marriage with pre-existing significant compatibilities of personality, temperament, goals, etc. The emotions I feel are the deepest love and respect for you and the excitement for your futures as someday you will sit where we now sit and speak where we now speak and lead in areas where we have led, but in many areas where we have not yet led.
There is a tendency in life, brothers and sisters, to simplify problems and complicate solutions. Many challenges, however, are very complex. Dedication to Successful Marriage Several years ago, while visiting in Florida, I talked with Frank Shorter, a world-class marathon athlete.
He won the marathon in the Olympics, placed second inand has won literally hundreds of long-distance races. As we talked about his training schedule, I learned that he had dedicated a great part of his life to succeeding in that impressive area of athletics. He knows exactly what foods to eat, how many miles to run each day which incidentally is about 20the frame of mind he needs to have if he expects to be victorious, and a number of other characteristics relating to success in his chosen field.
Tonight I shall not address the mate-selection process except to say three things: First, obedience, brothers and sisters, is the sure cornerstone of happiness. Seek out those who are willing to live the rules because if you do not, we will spend time with you in offices in whichever ward or stake you live, attempting to work out the difficulties that will surely come. Second, there are not to be sexual experiences before marriage.
It must have happened before, and then two people can grow and progress together.
Ten Keys to Successful Dating and Marriage Relationships
Brethren and sisters, I know of nothing worthwhile in life that comes easy. However, nothing in life is as valuable as a strong marriage and a secure family. I am speaking to all who want their future marriages to succeed. My comments are not for anyone looking for simple ideas or anyone who would be satisfied merely to tolerate an uncomfortable arrangement.
Every strong marriage is severely tested. Husbands and wives who encounter and surmount suffering, pain, misunderstanding, and temptation can enjoy marriages that are beautiful and eternal. There is a principle that needs to be understood, and let me take just a moment to explain it to you.
Many marriage experts who write articles are failures in their own marriages or have never married. Unfortunately, many of the books on how to have a successful marriage are less than helpful to Latter-day Saints.
Our marriages and families are built upon heavenly concepts and principles, not upon worldly ideas or solutions. I pray that I may be in the Spirit this evening as I communicate with you about marriage.
Belief in Eternal Marriage First of all, consider the concepts that we have that the world does not understand. One is the principle of eternal marriage itself, where we are able to look beyond the problems of today and this evening and tomorrow into a life beyond death, where as a family we will dwell forever together.
Relationships are to be never ending, but the world does not comprehend this great truth. Spirituality Second, the world does not understand spirituality or the fact that we can receive personal revelations that will assist us in any of the challenges that will come our way.
We must bring, brothers and sisters, the Savior and his teachings into our homes and hearts, and when we do, he will guide us. To really succeed, your eternal marriage must be Christ centered. Let me tell you an experience I had several years ago. I was sitting in my office. I heard a commotion out in the reception area.
My secretary picked up the telephone and buzzed me. Her face was tearstained.
Ten Keys to Successful Dating and Marriage Relationships - BYU Speeches
I was given the priesthood last June. I took the triple combination and turned quickly to section of the Doctrine and Covenants. That the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness. That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man.
At that time, that good sister smiled briefly. About this time, their hands joined as I read the next several verses: Which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile. Jumping to the 45th verse: Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.
Well, he was listening now. And we talked for the next few minutes about the importance of meekness and patience and love unfeigned. As they left, they walked out arm in arm, apparently after having learned a great lesson in life. The gospel of Jesus Christ and the priesthood that so many of us in this room bear can only be maintained and handled upon the principles of righteousness.
Just as a building must have a strong foundation, a family needs the sure foundation of the Savior and his teachings. We are a spiritual people, believing in spiritual principles: Obviously this means to live righteous lives, to pray often, and to be kind one to another.
Communication Third, do not feel that an intense disagreement in your dating procedure or eventually in your marriage indicates that it cannot succeed. If we are to really communicate, we must be honest when we disagree. We must express hurts and let our feelings show. We can do this without becoming angry or inconsiderate. People who keep things bottled up inside are candidates for a variety of illnesses, but even more serious, that approach does not solve problems.
A serious disagreement between partners does not mean the two are becoming allergic to one another or that the situation is hopeless. It merely means that they are human and not yet perfect individuals. If we can just acknowledge our differences in mature ways, then we will realize that our dating procedure is okay or our marriages eventually will be all right. Often what happens is that we have simply failed to communicate. And differences can be worked out without jeopardizing a relationship.
As we communicate, brothers and sisters—may I say this quickly—let us first communicate about feelings, those throbbings from within, and then we can be concerned with the historical aspects of communication, where we have been and what we have seen.
But let us communicate our feelings first. Kindness Fourth, never make your date or mate the object of jokes, either in private or in public.
Partners who poke fun at one another may think of it as good-natured humor. It is degrading and dangerous. To make a joke about private things a husband or wife or a boyfriend or girlfriend does is a form of ridicule and a way of putting him or her down. Too often the laughter conceals a spirit of malice or anger that causes hurt feelings and fractures in that delicate substance we define as spirit.
Couples who respect each other do not resort to such procedures. Trust Fifth, both during the dating period and after marriage, do not smother one another with excessive restrictions.
Remember a kind and loving Father—and I guess it was a hundred years ago today that we were sitting around talking about that council in heaven and all those things that had happened thousands of years before, and we were getting ready to come here.
As we looked to Father, we could see the trust in his eyes. And we knew that we would be operational here upon the earth in a great environment of freedom. Then why do we sometimes try to take that freedom away from those we love so much? A loving wife of many years shared with me one of the secrets of her beautiful marriage.
As you know, he is a busy businessman, a bishop, and a father. In turn, he helps me reach my potential.
- What Makes For A Happy Marriage?
She later served as a counselor in two auxiliary presidencies. She had a little place in their home where she could sew and where she painted lovely paintings and wrote beautiful poetry.
He felt comfortable in going fishing, lowering his golf score, doing some painting himself, and growing in ways that interested him. Neither of these marriage partners was being smothered by a selfish mate. And as you think about that eventual responsibility that you will have of raising children, keep that concept in mind.
If you will give them gobs of freedom, almost beyond logic sometimes, they will grow in precious ways that will give them the confidence to do what needs to be done.
What makes for a happy marriage?
They are interested in one another, and yet they set each other free to grow and mature—never free to flirt, but free to take on new challenges and to pursue new interests.
Jealousy is a subtle form of bondage and is the most smothering of human passions. We must allow each other plenty of room for personal growth and expression. When both partners are able to develop their talents and interests, the marriage is less likely to suffer from boredom and narrowness. Paying compliments Sixth, compliment each other sincerely and often, just as you do or will do during the dating period.
He gets so much attention from others that he needs to be brought down a peg or two. He gets too big for his britches. Every husband needs a wife who will build him up, and every wife needs a husband to honor and to respect her.
Building each other with sincere compliments is never a sign of weakness. It is the right thing to do. Anyone who can contemplate kneeling at an altar, participating in an eternal ordinance—or those who have—can certainly find lovely things to say about a partner.