Reframing the Victorians: The Victorian Courting Ritual
Courting the Victorian Woman. By Michelle J. Hoppe. Courtship was considered more a career move than a romantic interlude for young men, as all of a. Once a potential match is found, the courtship can begin. However, first the suitors have to have a clean and proper conversation under the eye. What was courtship and marriage like for our distant ancestors? During the Victorian Era (), romantic love became viewed as the.
That was the only touch, which was accepted between a man and a woman, who was not engaged to him.
Courting in the Victorian Era - an On-line Guide
A woman was allowed some liberties, however. She could flirt with her fan, as this behavior was within the protocol of accepted behavior.
An unmarried girl would never date a man at the night. This was considered extremely impolite. Even if the girl entered the stage of courtship, she could never walk with the gentleman. Women were restrained to ride alone in the closed carriage with a man, expect for a close relative. The girl should not be invited by any gentleman at his place. If engaged, the gentleman could not turn back to see any other girl. Even after an engagement, the couple was not allowed to have sexual behavior.
In the relationship, intelligence was not at all required, neither any interest in the politics.
The dating would firstly begin when the couple would speak to one another. The next step was to go out for a walk and then lastly by keeping company.
The upper class socialized at social events while the lowers classes socialized at events like Sunday Service or Church suppers. The second stage of the courtship was engagement. After getting engaged, the couple could get hold hands in public, go for walks alone, and take unchaperoned rides. The engaged couple was allowed to meet behind closed doors but had to be dutifully separated by nightfall.
However, marriage between two persons was permitted so long the couple intending to marry belonged to the same class. After marriage, the woman played the role of a dutiful wife and mother.5 Ridiculous Victorian Etiquette Rules - What the Stuff?!
The dating during the Victorian period was thus very different from what it is today. Victorian courtship gifts gift of soap As you might expect, there were many rules regarding courtship during the Victorian era. According to one etiquette expert of the s — s, Professor Thomas E.
Victorian era courtship rules and marriage facts
Hill, there were four items she could accept from a gentleman while still maintaining propriety. Finding and making an advantageous match was what many young men and women set out to accomplish in order to raise their social standings and lead a comfortable life.
The whole process was by no means easy, as certain skills and manners needed to be learned before anyone might even consider a man or a woman worthy of entering into a courtship. Many Victorian novels depicted some aspects of the courting ritual, as the process would have been highly relatable and familiar to all.
Nowadays we would describe courtship as dating with a purpose, and that purpose of course being marriage. Caroline Bingley begins thusly: That was deemed to be unfeminine. Humphry wrote a book specifically for this purpose. In Manners for Men, she gives her own stance on the qualities a gentleman ought to possess: How life is brightened by a sense of fun! That would be the height of impropriety! He needed to have a mutual friend re-introduce him to his female acquaintance if he wished to further their relationship.
There were, of course, more rules which need to be obeyed if the courtship was to proceed in a respectful manner. If a couple were walking about together they had to remain apart.
Touch could only be initiated in an instance where the woman needed to be helped over a puddle or other difficult terrain, and even then only the hand could be offered.
3: Courtship - 10 Ridiculous Victorian Etiquette Rules | HowStuffWorks
She could never visit the gentleman at his home or allow him into her home if she was the only one in. This all seems relatively strict, but, as young people often do, there were methods of flirting that were created to bypass some of this rules. If a woman wanted to have a conversation with a man without her chaperone or anyone else interfering she could always use her fan. The following are some of the signals a woman could give and their meanings. If she fanned herself quickly that meant she was engaged, however, if she simply carried the fan in her left hand it meant she was independent and desired to make an acquaintance.